Love the Past, Embrace the Present

We’ve been settled in Richmond for a month(!) now and life has returned to such a foreign state of calmness for me that I almost don’t know how to deal with it. With our lives in such disarray and so unsettled for the last five months of 2015, a quiet month of routine and this newfound stability is a treasure.

Sometimes the days lean towards boring, but I’m trying to enjoy them as much as I can because (hopefully) I’ll soon be employed and wishing for a day off to cook and clean and dance around the apartment as I do so.

Do you ever have so many things in mind that you want to do that you almost don’t even know where to start? That’s how I’m feeling lately. I’m almost overwhelmed with the number of things I’m excited to dive into and it’s a wonderful feeling to know that my feet are planted enough in one place to start building a solid life here. I just wanted to come to this space today and throw it all out there.

Many of my goals for 2016 are tied to the idea that we’ve found a permanent place to call home. (At least for the foreseeable future.) Unlike when we moved to California, or even New York, we didn’t move to Richmond with the idea that we’d just hang out here a couple of years and then move on to the next thing. I had forgotten what it felt like to let yourself grow roots without the caution of future heartbreak. When you know it’s not forever, you tend to keep your guard up: don’t love this place too much, don’t make too many friends that you’ll hate leaving. It’s both a wonderful and terrible thing, loving and leaving a place you’ve called home.

I have missed California a lot lately, though. I miss our apartment specifically, and having the big sliding glass door open, the breeze blowing in year-round. I miss the palm trees and the dirt-covered mountains to the east, the ocean just twelve miles west. I miss Pieology pizza and Hawaiian bowls from Wahoo’s Fish Taco and DK Donuts and eating takeout from Pick Up Stix way too often. (We clearly ate very healthy in California.) I miss the map of Tustin and how I knew how to get anywhere, from our grocery store to the post office to the perfect place to park in Huntington…I don’t want to forget it. I don’t want to forget knowing which ramp to use to get onto the freeway to go to the Spectrum or the frustration of driving through the canyon trying to get to Laguna Beach. I don’t want to forget feeling like it was mine: my neighborhood, my Target, my favorite exit for less traffic to the beach. I just want California to always be a part of me, and while I know it always will, I don’t want to forget the little details that I know will fade with time. Now that I have lots of time to think about it, and a new city to discover and learn my way around, I’m once again mourning the loss of leaving a place I loved.

But with that loss comes so much excitement. My family and friends from my hometown and Roanoke can visit any time they like, and I can do the same! I’ve found a local artist collective here in Richmond that offers workshops and classes on all things print-related, from photography to typography to screen-printing, and I can’t wait to dive into some of those classes. I love exploring the city around me, from walking to Shockoe Slip to take photos of the architecture to driving up to Carytown to try a new restaurant for dinner. On a mission to do more freelance work, I’m taking on a marketing project for a cousin in an attempt to grow her business through social media…we’ll see how that goes and how I can possibly develop that service into my own business. I’m planning future travel, and working out how to save up the funds to do so. I’m writing and reading and cooking new things, blossoming into this new person who has so much potential for growth in any direction I’d like. The possibilities seem endless, and I’m thriving and overwhelmed with that thought. It’s incredible.